Antes de Ecuador.

This morning, I was awakened by the sound...of my own voice. Speaking in really bad Spanish.

It's a first, but it comes as no surprise since the small, quiet moments of my days this week (showers, dishwashing, staring blankly at the computer screen, etc.) have been dominated by one-sided conversations (this sounds better than "I talk to myself") designed to ease my nerves about speaking en espanol y solo espanol por dos meses. These conversations go something like this:

Hola.
Me llamo Sarah.
Como esta?
Mucho gusto!

And then, getting braver...
El vuelo fue muy largo pero bueno, gracias por preguntar.
Perdoname, repita por favor? Mi espanol es todavia no muy bueno.
Este pais es muy hermosa y la gente son muy agradables.
Ojala que...

And this is where I start to panic, because I know that I have to conjugate into el subjuntivo, but I've completely forgotten how. Then I remember that I'm forgetting MUCH MORE: mandatos y imperativos, el preterito y imperfecto, los pronombres, basically, dios mio.

So, that's how I've been for the last week, in between packing, overpacking, repacking, looking at pictures of Ecuador, and realizing how surreal it all is as I'm washing down my first malaria pill with a swig from my portable water purifier (which tastes slightly of iodine).

Six months ago, two months in Ecuador seemed like a cake-walk. Now that my flight is tomorrow, I'm a 5'8" bundle of nerves, excitement, hope, fear, and vaccinations.

Nerves: What if everyone makes fun of my Spanish? Let's be honest, it'll get an A in class, but it is "le suck" for the real world.
Excitement: I can't believe I'm going on this incredible adventure. I've always wanted to travel alone and now, I am! My Spanish is going to be so much better! I'm going to meet so many people and try so may new things!
Hope: I hope I learn a lot about the Ecuadorian healthcare system. I hope I get a really good feel for clinic work. I hope to come back changed. I hope the sights take my breath away.
Fear: Don't get malaria, don't get malaria, don't get malaria. I hope I don't do something that will completely offend my homestay family. I better not lose my passport. What if I get pickpocketed?
Vaccinations: Hep A, Hep B, Flu, Typhoid, Yellow Fever, Rabies. Check.

Deep down, I know that everything will be okay. And I've grown used to the fact that I have no idea what to expect...except that I will miss my family and loved ones terribly. In fact, I miss you already.

So this is me, in all my earnest, before Ecuador. Wish me luck and I'll see you when I get back!

In the meantime, some fotos of where I'm going, even before I get there. 

Besos y abrazos, 

Sarita